The sun rises over the emerald fields surrounding the village. It is a plain, small, inconsequential village. The fields around are more colourful than the sun-bleached clothes of the inhabitants. The clothes had once been livelier, but the sun, the sweat and the poverty have slowly but surely taken the sheen off till all the colours appear to be of the same dull hue.
There is a railway line passing through the fields, added almost as an afterthought by some functionary in the government. Other than the one tractor in the village, the railway line is the only connection that the village has with any sort of modern technology. The line is almost as inconsequential as the village itself, which does not even have access to a pukka road let alone to a railway station.
A distant rumble approaches the village. The poultry and livestock scatters in alarm. In the village, all activity ceases and heads turn to the direction of the disturbance. It is nothing new, yet life comes to a standstill as the rumble closes in.
The train approaches and then passes the village, as always. Several eyes peer from within the iron coaches at the scene outside.
Some child waves out from the train, before its worried mother pulls the hand back in with a reprimand. Someone waves back from the village. Two lives brush even as hundreds pass each other by.
The noise recedes as the train leaves the village behind. The train will meet the village again. The people in it will probably not. The day is still young and there is lots to be done. The villagers turn back to their work. The herds return to their grazing spots. The sun still shines over the emerald fields.
Life goes on.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Monday, May 15, 2006
My reservations against reservation
As reservations slowly eat up jobs for deserving candidates, they start leaving India to settle abroad. First they start leaving so that they can get jobs, then at college level and school level.
As educational standards drop, teachers and students alike switch over to regional languages. The IIMs and IITs declare their language of instruction as the language of the state they are located in. Other colleges follow suit. People from one part of India find it increasingly difficult to communicate with each other. Inter-state clashes over land and resources increase manifold.
As per reservations, many deserving candidates get passed over for promotions to higher posts. All of the corporate layer is overrun by reserved posts in both govt and private institutions. Inefficiency sets in, triggering a slow-down in the Indian economy.
As a recessionary period sets in, in the first to leave are the FIIs - they pull out their investments, and the Indian economy has to stand up on its own shaky feet. As investments go out, prices rise but companies pay less to their employees, but according to amended reservation rules, reservation candidates still get 20 - 25 % more than the few remaining general candidates.
As the money dries up, India is left with no choice but to withdraw forces from the frontiers. There is no moolah to protect the borders! J&K goes entirely to Pakistan and China. China cuts off the North East, many parts of which wanted independence anyway. Illegal Bangladeshi immigrants swarm into West Bengal and take up legitimate positions using forged papers proving their right to reservations. The Khalistan movement picks up once more. What remains of India becomes a ticking bomb waiting to explode into a civil war.
As time passes, Arjun Singh's plan of upliftment succeeds. India is dominated by SC/ST and OBCs. The Congress has gone out of power since long, and Mayawati is now the Prime Minister of India - she proposes 75% reservation and the Congress is unable to match the offer...
So much for a doomsday view of India's future under reservations. The truth is that we have been through this before. The truth is that that by bringing up these issues again and again, what India's politicians are trying to do is get caste calculations into the picture once more. They say that the idea of reservations has been around since the time of independence. Well, it has been there, and it has been successful. Today's youngsters rarely ask each other their castes while being introduced. But the proposed changes have the potential to change that. They could possibly undo all the good that has been done this far.
A case against this argument could be made. Yes, the scenarios I have mentioned are probably only applicable to urban and semi-urban areas of India. But I ask anyone to compare the statistics for the 25 years just after independence and the next 25 years - how many of the benefits have gone to the rural population? I would be pretty sure that though the reservation and quota system did work in the first quarter century, the next quarter century saw the next generations taking advantage of the quotas from the platforms built by the first beneficiaries. Families with Rs. 5-6 lakh incomes per annum and high savings got to get their kids to better colleges, while the lesser fortunate continued to languish in their squalor. The concept of 'equity' disappeared after the first generation.
In addition to this, the rural populace also consists of the so-called 'Forward Castes' and 'Upper Classes' who haven't had access to higher education and better facilities. Isn't a quota over here killing the idea of 'equity'?
So how do you solve the problem? You obviously can't leave the downtrodden classes without any hope of salvation. You obviously can't help them in a way that would significantly harm chances of other candidates. I cannot say what the wise men of India are thinking, but I see a way forward by categorising India's population by income levels, and reshuffling quotas to cater to the lowest income groups - just like the taxation structure. A side-effect of this may be a better profiling of India's economic demographics, and give the tax department a better way of collecting taxes.
All said and done, this is a tiny voice into the vast emptiness of the internet. I strongly believe that the idea of caste-based quotas was reasonable at one point of time. I also strongly believe that it is an idea whose time has passed.
My only hope and prayer is for sanity to prevail, so that future generations have a better deal - both in terms of the environment they live in and the politicians that represent them. I hope we don't need another young Rajiv Goswami burning up on the roads to get the attention of the so-called wise men. Amen.
As educational standards drop, teachers and students alike switch over to regional languages. The IIMs and IITs declare their language of instruction as the language of the state they are located in. Other colleges follow suit. People from one part of India find it increasingly difficult to communicate with each other. Inter-state clashes over land and resources increase manifold.
As per reservations, many deserving candidates get passed over for promotions to higher posts. All of the corporate layer is overrun by reserved posts in both govt and private institutions. Inefficiency sets in, triggering a slow-down in the Indian economy.
As a recessionary period sets in, in the first to leave are the FIIs - they pull out their investments, and the Indian economy has to stand up on its own shaky feet. As investments go out, prices rise but companies pay less to their employees, but according to amended reservation rules, reservation candidates still get 20 - 25 % more than the few remaining general candidates.
As the money dries up, India is left with no choice but to withdraw forces from the frontiers. There is no moolah to protect the borders! J&K goes entirely to Pakistan and China. China cuts off the North East, many parts of which wanted independence anyway. Illegal Bangladeshi immigrants swarm into West Bengal and take up legitimate positions using forged papers proving their right to reservations. The Khalistan movement picks up once more. What remains of India becomes a ticking bomb waiting to explode into a civil war.
As time passes, Arjun Singh's plan of upliftment succeeds. India is dominated by SC/ST and OBCs. The Congress has gone out of power since long, and Mayawati is now the Prime Minister of India - she proposes 75% reservation and the Congress is unable to match the offer...
So much for a doomsday view of India's future under reservations. The truth is that we have been through this before. The truth is that that by bringing up these issues again and again, what India's politicians are trying to do is get caste calculations into the picture once more. They say that the idea of reservations has been around since the time of independence. Well, it has been there, and it has been successful. Today's youngsters rarely ask each other their castes while being introduced. But the proposed changes have the potential to change that. They could possibly undo all the good that has been done this far.
A case against this argument could be made. Yes, the scenarios I have mentioned are probably only applicable to urban and semi-urban areas of India. But I ask anyone to compare the statistics for the 25 years just after independence and the next 25 years - how many of the benefits have gone to the rural population? I would be pretty sure that though the reservation and quota system did work in the first quarter century, the next quarter century saw the next generations taking advantage of the quotas from the platforms built by the first beneficiaries. Families with Rs. 5-6 lakh incomes per annum and high savings got to get their kids to better colleges, while the lesser fortunate continued to languish in their squalor. The concept of 'equity' disappeared after the first generation.
In addition to this, the rural populace also consists of the so-called 'Forward Castes' and 'Upper Classes' who haven't had access to higher education and better facilities. Isn't a quota over here killing the idea of 'equity'?
So how do you solve the problem? You obviously can't leave the downtrodden classes without any hope of salvation. You obviously can't help them in a way that would significantly harm chances of other candidates. I cannot say what the wise men of India are thinking, but I see a way forward by categorising India's population by income levels, and reshuffling quotas to cater to the lowest income groups - just like the taxation structure. A side-effect of this may be a better profiling of India's economic demographics, and give the tax department a better way of collecting taxes.
All said and done, this is a tiny voice into the vast emptiness of the internet. I strongly believe that the idea of caste-based quotas was reasonable at one point of time. I also strongly believe that it is an idea whose time has passed.
My only hope and prayer is for sanity to prevail, so that future generations have a better deal - both in terms of the environment they live in and the politicians that represent them. I hope we don't need another young Rajiv Goswami burning up on the roads to get the attention of the so-called wise men. Amen.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Ab Tak Chhappan
Remember what Bilbo used to say: It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.
- J.R.R. Tolkien in 'Lord of the Rings'
====================================
It’s been a month and a half since I have been back from Sandakhpu, but the memories refuse to go away. I can’t find the words to describe what I’ve seen, yet I can’t let go without giving it a try. Back in February it was the Great Ocean Road, and a month back it was the wonder of the Himalayas. I feel like I’ve been blessed with a chance to see two of the most beautiful sights the earth has on show.
We started on the evening of the 11th of April from Kolkata. An overnight train ride, and the next day we woke up in New Jalpaiguri. New Jalpaiguri was our first stop. Not a long stop though, there is hardly anything to see in NJP that cannot be found in Kolkata. Besides, we were dying to get out of the sweltering heat and get some altitude as soon as possible. We were pretty conspicuous at the station – with our caps and shades and rucksacks; as expected, we were mobbed by hordes of taxi and minibus drivers as soon as we set foot outside the station. A lot of haggling and bargaining later, we were presented with our ride. I can’t describe what it was – it looked like a home-made hybrid of a jeep and a minibus – but the 15 of us piled into it, bags and all and took off.
Our destination was Maneybhanjyang – a small town around 2100m above sea level. The plan was to get there by late in the afternoon, find a lodge to see the night through, and start on our trek from there. Half an hour into the journey, things started getting exciting. The road was a steep climb, winding its way past quite a few mountains. I was on my feet trying to photograph the local females plucking tea leaves when I realized I was suspended right above the guy in front of me, hanging on for dear life to the ceiling of the jeep. Apparently, the jeep (or whatever it was) had suddenly decided it wanted to pursue the career of a bike and was moving on two wheels! As soon as we were back with four wheels firmly planted on terra firma, we jumped out of the jeep, hearts thudding in our chests.
It was made clear to the driver that the objective of our trip was travel and low-risk entertainment, and that we intended to make it back home alive and on our respective two feet, and we were off once more, and reached the destination without further incident.
Maneybhanjyang is a town half in India and half in Nepal. Lovely little place, used as a base camp by most trekkers attempting the Sandakhpu trek. It was probably the last place on our route that had access to electricity.
We set out early next morning – our next halt was for lunch at Tumling. As with most other of our kind (IT professionals), our armchair trained bodies were woefully out of shape. Around 30 minutes of slightly uphill climbing, and we were flat on our backs. Sample this conversation:
Mr X: Abbe aur nahi chadha jaa raha yaar… waapas chalte hain…
Mr Y: Waapas jaane ke liye bhi chalna padega
Mr X: Kood jaate hain yaheen se
Mr Y: Abbe marne se pehle shaadi to kar lene de
Mr X: Theek, yaheen pade rehte hain, koi na koi to daya karke uthaa hi legi…
Once we got back on our feet though, we were walking once more – the pain would disappear in due course of time, and the legs would trudge on like pistons on an automaton. The disappearance of the pain, of course, was helped in great measure by the scenery around us. On a yellow cobblestone trail, surrounded by coniferous forests, rhododendrons and ferns, drinking in the cool and clean air of the terrai, we were feeling like Dorothy looking for the wizard of Oz.
- J.R.R. Tolkien in 'Lord of the Rings'
====================================
It’s been a month and a half since I have been back from Sandakhpu, but the memories refuse to go away. I can’t find the words to describe what I’ve seen, yet I can’t let go without giving it a try. Back in February it was the Great Ocean Road, and a month back it was the wonder of the Himalayas. I feel like I’ve been blessed with a chance to see two of the most beautiful sights the earth has on show.
We started on the evening of the 11th of April from Kolkata. An overnight train ride, and the next day we woke up in New Jalpaiguri. New Jalpaiguri was our first stop. Not a long stop though, there is hardly anything to see in NJP that cannot be found in Kolkata. Besides, we were dying to get out of the sweltering heat and get some altitude as soon as possible. We were pretty conspicuous at the station – with our caps and shades and rucksacks; as expected, we were mobbed by hordes of taxi and minibus drivers as soon as we set foot outside the station. A lot of haggling and bargaining later, we were presented with our ride. I can’t describe what it was – it looked like a home-made hybrid of a jeep and a minibus – but the 15 of us piled into it, bags and all and took off.
Our destination was Maneybhanjyang – a small town around 2100m above sea level. The plan was to get there by late in the afternoon, find a lodge to see the night through, and start on our trek from there. Half an hour into the journey, things started getting exciting. The road was a steep climb, winding its way past quite a few mountains. I was on my feet trying to photograph the local females plucking tea leaves when I realized I was suspended right above the guy in front of me, hanging on for dear life to the ceiling of the jeep. Apparently, the jeep (or whatever it was) had suddenly decided it wanted to pursue the career of a bike and was moving on two wheels! As soon as we were back with four wheels firmly planted on terra firma, we jumped out of the jeep, hearts thudding in our chests.
It was made clear to the driver that the objective of our trip was travel and low-risk entertainment, and that we intended to make it back home alive and on our respective two feet, and we were off once more, and reached the destination without further incident.
Maneybhanjyang is a town half in India and half in Nepal. Lovely little place, used as a base camp by most trekkers attempting the Sandakhpu trek. It was probably the last place on our route that had access to electricity.
We set out early next morning – our next halt was for lunch at Tumling. As with most other of our kind (IT professionals), our armchair trained bodies were woefully out of shape. Around 30 minutes of slightly uphill climbing, and we were flat on our backs. Sample this conversation:
Mr X: Abbe aur nahi chadha jaa raha yaar… waapas chalte hain…
Mr Y: Waapas jaane ke liye bhi chalna padega
Mr X: Kood jaate hain yaheen se
Mr Y: Abbe marne se pehle shaadi to kar lene de
Mr X: Theek, yaheen pade rehte hain, koi na koi to daya karke uthaa hi legi…
Once we got back on our feet though, we were walking once more – the pain would disappear in due course of time, and the legs would trudge on like pistons on an automaton. The disappearance of the pain, of course, was helped in great measure by the scenery around us. On a yellow cobblestone trail, surrounded by coniferous forests, rhododendrons and ferns, drinking in the cool and clean air of the terrai, we were feeling like Dorothy looking for the wizard of Oz.
Monday, May 01, 2006
The Great Ocean Road
There are some things that just cannot be laughed at - you just stare and say 'Wow'... The Great Ocean Road Trip HAS to be one of the beautiful journeys that the world has to offer. I first started writing a 'funny man' account of the trip. I tried and laboured for a couple of days, and realized that I simply could not do it that way!
The Great Ocean Road trip is approximately 350 km driving one way from Melbourne to Warnambool. Thats a pretty good official description, but its like calling the Mona Lisa a piece of cloth with colour splashed over it. That - I can most definitely confirm - it is most definitely not.
We started the day with a Holden Commodore as our vehicle (rented, of course) - a vehicle worthy of the trip, if I may add. It now is one of my favourite cars - but thats a different story for another time. Starting from Melbourne, we got on to the Princess highway for the first part of our trip, which would take us to Geelong and then Torquay, from where the road actually begins.
Geelong and Torquay are two sea-side towns popular amongst surfers. So good beaches, surfer dudes and (ahem) the ladies (the ladies and dudes are common animals; found all along the roads and beaches - we'll skip their descriptions here). Also a surfer museum, shops for surfing paraphernalia etc etc. I was hoping we would stop there for a while, and maybe get a glimpse of some live surfing, but we did not stop there for too long - it was keeping us from the main fare of the journey.
And so the road began - miles and miles and miles of lovely silken smooth highway winding its way across towns, hills, beaches. I have a dream of maybe doing that trip on a nice bike some day - I can't possibly imagine the exihileration of feeling the cool moist breeze across my face, and the dull throb of a bike pulling me along those paths. It is possible to do this - there is a pretty large number of B&Bs along the road (Bed and Breakfast) - places to stop over at night, grab a bite and move on. People are friendly and hospitable for the most part, so no problems with that as well.
But lets get back to the "main fare" of the journey. Two colours - Green, and Blue.
The green of the trees, the plants, the grass. The green of the leaves fluttering in the breeze. The green of a carefully maintained ecosystem coexisting with human dwellings. The green that comes of a culture that recognizes and values the earth that nurtures it. The green with the Koalas hiding behind it. (The kangaroos were a no-show despite countless signs saying that we are in a kangaroo crossing zone). The blue of the sky - a clear expanse save for some cotton puff clouds. It extends till far away - upto and beyond the horizon, till the only thing seperating the sky from the earth is a suggestion of a thin line. Below the line is a stark blue expanse of water. Deep blue sea from your feet to as far as you can see and beyond - all the way up to the frozen ice of Antarctica.
But getting back from my impressionist musings - back to the road. There are lots of locations to stop at - the Split Point, Apollo bay, a hundred little beaches hidden just behind the bushes. Lots of camp sites and barbecue points for the campers. A holiday atmosphere throughout the stretch.
We halted at Apollo Bay, a lovely beach with a string of roadside restaurants and bistros. Pizzas for lunch, and we went off on a detour - there's a small trek route of around 1.5 kms slightly off the main road that ends at a delightful waterfall. A wooden platform is present at a vantage point for viewers. But no platforms for us - we went "off the road", so as to say, and clambered onto the stones, and generally made a nuisance of ourselves. Apparently, this style of holidaying appealed to the others behind us. By the time we left, there was a small crowd on the waterfall and the stream, and no one on the platform.
Back on the main road, we tabbed down Apollo Bay for a longer stay on our way back. In between we also stopped at what is called the 'Split Point'. This is a place where one can see a marked difference in the shade of the water to the left and to the right - almost like a someone has drawn a boundary and coloured the water to one side with a darker shade of blue. Other attractions for the traveller at this place are a lighthouse, and a nice little cafe with a pet cockatoo near the gate. Didn't stop there too long as well. We were getting late in our schedule to reach Warnambool. Here's how the discovery was made -
#1 : Hey that clock on the building says 6.30p. My watch says 5.30p!
#2 : How's that possible? Are we in a different time zone?
#3 : Ummm - isn't it more likely the clock has stopped?
#4 : No re - this is Australia, not India. The clock must be running...
#1 : Yeah Australia is so big - I think I had heard there are two timezones or something of tht sort...
All : Oh shit! We have only 1.30 hours to get to Warnambool! Quick! To the car!
(At this time we were about halfway through the journey only - lots of road to be covered to get to Warnambool)
And with the realization setting in, we decided to stop stopping at every place on the road, and to get to Warnambool, get the room we had booked, and then maybe explore the town a little. We stepped on the gas, and were soon flying around the road. Obviously, Murphy's laws had not kicked in since some time, and we were getting a little restless. One of us said, "No cops on the road since quite some time." Around five more minutes passed without incident or comment. Then a violet Lancer overtook us from the right at breakneck speed. For a moment we thought it was some madcap trying out his hand at rally driving - then we saw the red and blue lights and a hand motioning at us to pull over. Apparently, we had been driving above the speed limit since some time, and were being tailed by the police. Once they decided we were not about to slow down, we were intercepted. Well - another kind of experience.
An hour and a half and AUD 210 (speeding fine) later, we were standing in our room. The time was 7.00p. Yeah, it was Australia, not India, but the clock had stopped running.
Warnambool is a nice little fishing town. Its like the other Australian towns - not crowded, clean, nice roads. Lots of eateries with chinese food. Even one with mexican, if I remember right. Warnambool has a whale watching platform that is active in the winter - but nothing much to see except the sunset over there. We were there in February - which is around the middle of summer in Australia (It's the southern hemisphere, remember? So what is summer above the equator is winter below, and vice versa). However, its a nice quite place to take the night break. Then wake up in the morning, grab some breakfast, and get going on the way back. And thats exactly what we did.
There are two ways back - one is inland and somewhat shorter. The other is the way by which we arrived from Melbourne - longer, but more scenic. We had left one important stop in our rush to get to Warnambool - The famous 'Twelve Apostles'. And we were determined to see it. So back we went on the same road (with the great NFS champion in the drivers seat). On the menu were - the Twelves Apostles, a winery not so far off from the main track and Apollo bay.
Well, to cut a long story short - we got to the first of the 'menu' somewhat over 2 hours behind schedule; the reason being the 'scenic lookout' markers placed throughout the roadsides. These are areas where one can park his/her vehicle and walk a little to an observation point. After millenia of pounding from the ocean, Australia's southern seaface has crumbled and broken and there are a lot of rocks that have been seperated from the main landmass. Although the 'Twelve Apostles' are the most famous examples of these, there are other such smaller locations are equally beautiful - we stopped at the 'Grotto', the 'Thunder caves', 'London Bridge' and a lot more whose names I don't recall at the moment.
Basically, what happened is that, by the time we got to the Twelve Apostles, we were already saturated with sights of rocks jutting out of the ocean. And when we did see the view, our reaction was like - 'Whats so special? Larger number of rocks?!'. We were told later that the twelve apostles look best at sunset. So two learnings - Don't see other rocks before you see these; and see it at sunset. Although the name suggests twelve of them, there are actually nine. The last one fell some time in the nineties. Its one of the great spectacles that Australia offers - and despite what I've written - its really worth seeing it. From the observation deck, you have the continent behind you, the blue ocean in front of you, and the 9 rocks standing to your left and to your right. The breeze is cool, and the scene is like it has been cut out of a postcard.
We moved on from the apostles and proceeded to the next stop - the winery. Australian wine is pretty famous, and there is a large number of wineries around the place. My memory fails me again, and I cannot recall the name of the winery we went to. Its a small place - however the lady who showed us around was very nice. We had a long talk with her - tasted a couple of the wines, clicked one or two photos and took off from the place.
I guess we lost our way while getting back from this place - we stopped once in the way to have lunch (Everybody was really really hungry by then). And then we took a wrong turn. We kept going and going and going - the tarmac turned into a pebbled path, and then someone said the dreaded words, "I think we are lost, aren't we?" We halted, pulled out the map and started looking for ourselves. We finally found us - not too far off the track; and decided to press forward till we got on to the next main road. In the meantime, the surroundings had changed from green hills to almost rain-forest (!). Lots of birds and greenery - It was looking like a racing track on one of my racing games (I'm sure someone is going to clobber me if I mention NFS again). The sky was not visible because of the trees. It was a welcome change from the scenery we had been seeing since the last two days. I mean, yeah, that was beautiful - but a change is a change and we were relieved. That part of the journey was unexpected, unplanned and memorable. Not sure how many other tourists have been on this track - there were no other vehicles along that route.
We finally got out of the forest and back to the road. In 30 minutes time, we were having Pizza in Apollo Bay. Same shop, nice pizza, nice coffee, nice beach. We stripped to our shorts, jumped into the water and proceeded with the monkey antics. Half an hour later, a sweet water bath, another coffee to warm up the internals, and we were back on the way.
Back in Melbourne, we were in no state to do anything else. Got the car parked, got dinner, found the bed and fell into it.
NOTE: Once the road begins, its miles and miles of smooth driving (Achtung! All you driving freaks) - with the ocean on one side and the hills on the other. The beauty is breathtaking. For the benefit of the sight-seeing tourists, there are small detours at regular intervals that give you unending opportunities to let your jaw drop. Just keep in mind to pick it up everytime that happens.
The Great Ocean Road trip is approximately 350 km driving one way from Melbourne to Warnambool. Thats a pretty good official description, but its like calling the Mona Lisa a piece of cloth with colour splashed over it. That - I can most definitely confirm - it is most definitely not.
We started the day with a Holden Commodore as our vehicle (rented, of course) - a vehicle worthy of the trip, if I may add. It now is one of my favourite cars - but thats a different story for another time. Starting from Melbourne, we got on to the Princess highway for the first part of our trip, which would take us to Geelong and then Torquay, from where the road actually begins.
Geelong and Torquay are two sea-side towns popular amongst surfers. So good beaches, surfer dudes and (ahem) the ladies (the ladies and dudes are common animals; found all along the roads and beaches - we'll skip their descriptions here). Also a surfer museum, shops for surfing paraphernalia etc etc. I was hoping we would stop there for a while, and maybe get a glimpse of some live surfing, but we did not stop there for too long - it was keeping us from the main fare of the journey.
And so the road began - miles and miles and miles of lovely silken smooth highway winding its way across towns, hills, beaches. I have a dream of maybe doing that trip on a nice bike some day - I can't possibly imagine the exihileration of feeling the cool moist breeze across my face, and the dull throb of a bike pulling me along those paths. It is possible to do this - there is a pretty large number of B&Bs along the road (Bed and Breakfast) - places to stop over at night, grab a bite and move on. People are friendly and hospitable for the most part, so no problems with that as well.
But lets get back to the "main fare" of the journey. Two colours - Green, and Blue.
The green of the trees, the plants, the grass. The green of the leaves fluttering in the breeze. The green of a carefully maintained ecosystem coexisting with human dwellings. The green that comes of a culture that recognizes and values the earth that nurtures it. The green with the Koalas hiding behind it. (The kangaroos were a no-show despite countless signs saying that we are in a kangaroo crossing zone). The blue of the sky - a clear expanse save for some cotton puff clouds. It extends till far away - upto and beyond the horizon, till the only thing seperating the sky from the earth is a suggestion of a thin line. Below the line is a stark blue expanse of water. Deep blue sea from your feet to as far as you can see and beyond - all the way up to the frozen ice of Antarctica.
But getting back from my impressionist musings - back to the road. There are lots of locations to stop at - the Split Point, Apollo bay, a hundred little beaches hidden just behind the bushes. Lots of camp sites and barbecue points for the campers. A holiday atmosphere throughout the stretch.
We halted at Apollo Bay, a lovely beach with a string of roadside restaurants and bistros. Pizzas for lunch, and we went off on a detour - there's a small trek route of around 1.5 kms slightly off the main road that ends at a delightful waterfall. A wooden platform is present at a vantage point for viewers. But no platforms for us - we went "off the road", so as to say, and clambered onto the stones, and generally made a nuisance of ourselves. Apparently, this style of holidaying appealed to the others behind us. By the time we left, there was a small crowd on the waterfall and the stream, and no one on the platform.
Back on the main road, we tabbed down Apollo Bay for a longer stay on our way back. In between we also stopped at what is called the 'Split Point'. This is a place where one can see a marked difference in the shade of the water to the left and to the right - almost like a someone has drawn a boundary and coloured the water to one side with a darker shade of blue. Other attractions for the traveller at this place are a lighthouse, and a nice little cafe with a pet cockatoo near the gate. Didn't stop there too long as well. We were getting late in our schedule to reach Warnambool. Here's how the discovery was made -
#1 : Hey that clock on the building says 6.30p. My watch says 5.30p!
#2 : How's that possible? Are we in a different time zone?
#3 : Ummm - isn't it more likely the clock has stopped?
#4 : No re - this is Australia, not India. The clock must be running...
#1 : Yeah Australia is so big - I think I had heard there are two timezones or something of tht sort...
All : Oh shit! We have only 1.30 hours to get to Warnambool! Quick! To the car!
(At this time we were about halfway through the journey only - lots of road to be covered to get to Warnambool)
And with the realization setting in, we decided to stop stopping at every place on the road, and to get to Warnambool, get the room we had booked, and then maybe explore the town a little. We stepped on the gas, and were soon flying around the road. Obviously, Murphy's laws had not kicked in since some time, and we were getting a little restless. One of us said, "No cops on the road since quite some time." Around five more minutes passed without incident or comment. Then a violet Lancer overtook us from the right at breakneck speed. For a moment we thought it was some madcap trying out his hand at rally driving - then we saw the red and blue lights and a hand motioning at us to pull over. Apparently, we had been driving above the speed limit since some time, and were being tailed by the police. Once they decided we were not about to slow down, we were intercepted. Well - another kind of experience.
An hour and a half and AUD 210 (speeding fine) later, we were standing in our room. The time was 7.00p. Yeah, it was Australia, not India, but the clock had stopped running.
Warnambool is a nice little fishing town. Its like the other Australian towns - not crowded, clean, nice roads. Lots of eateries with chinese food. Even one with mexican, if I remember right. Warnambool has a whale watching platform that is active in the winter - but nothing much to see except the sunset over there. We were there in February - which is around the middle of summer in Australia (It's the southern hemisphere, remember? So what is summer above the equator is winter below, and vice versa). However, its a nice quite place to take the night break. Then wake up in the morning, grab some breakfast, and get going on the way back. And thats exactly what we did.
There are two ways back - one is inland and somewhat shorter. The other is the way by which we arrived from Melbourne - longer, but more scenic. We had left one important stop in our rush to get to Warnambool - The famous 'Twelve Apostles'. And we were determined to see it. So back we went on the same road (with the great NFS champion in the drivers seat). On the menu were - the Twelves Apostles, a winery not so far off from the main track and Apollo bay.
Well, to cut a long story short - we got to the first of the 'menu' somewhat over 2 hours behind schedule; the reason being the 'scenic lookout' markers placed throughout the roadsides. These are areas where one can park his/her vehicle and walk a little to an observation point. After millenia of pounding from the ocean, Australia's southern seaface has crumbled and broken and there are a lot of rocks that have been seperated from the main landmass. Although the 'Twelve Apostles' are the most famous examples of these, there are other such smaller locations are equally beautiful - we stopped at the 'Grotto', the 'Thunder caves', 'London Bridge' and a lot more whose names I don't recall at the moment.
Basically, what happened is that, by the time we got to the Twelve Apostles, we were already saturated with sights of rocks jutting out of the ocean. And when we did see the view, our reaction was like - 'Whats so special? Larger number of rocks?!'. We were told later that the twelve apostles look best at sunset. So two learnings - Don't see other rocks before you see these; and see it at sunset. Although the name suggests twelve of them, there are actually nine. The last one fell some time in the nineties. Its one of the great spectacles that Australia offers - and despite what I've written - its really worth seeing it. From the observation deck, you have the continent behind you, the blue ocean in front of you, and the 9 rocks standing to your left and to your right. The breeze is cool, and the scene is like it has been cut out of a postcard.
We moved on from the apostles and proceeded to the next stop - the winery. Australian wine is pretty famous, and there is a large number of wineries around the place. My memory fails me again, and I cannot recall the name of the winery we went to. Its a small place - however the lady who showed us around was very nice. We had a long talk with her - tasted a couple of the wines, clicked one or two photos and took off from the place.
I guess we lost our way while getting back from this place - we stopped once in the way to have lunch (Everybody was really really hungry by then). And then we took a wrong turn. We kept going and going and going - the tarmac turned into a pebbled path, and then someone said the dreaded words, "I think we are lost, aren't we?" We halted, pulled out the map and started looking for ourselves. We finally found us - not too far off the track; and decided to press forward till we got on to the next main road. In the meantime, the surroundings had changed from green hills to almost rain-forest (!). Lots of birds and greenery - It was looking like a racing track on one of my racing games (I'm sure someone is going to clobber me if I mention NFS again). The sky was not visible because of the trees. It was a welcome change from the scenery we had been seeing since the last two days. I mean, yeah, that was beautiful - but a change is a change and we were relieved. That part of the journey was unexpected, unplanned and memorable. Not sure how many other tourists have been on this track - there were no other vehicles along that route.
We finally got out of the forest and back to the road. In 30 minutes time, we were having Pizza in Apollo Bay. Same shop, nice pizza, nice coffee, nice beach. We stripped to our shorts, jumped into the water and proceeded with the monkey antics. Half an hour later, a sweet water bath, another coffee to warm up the internals, and we were back on the way.
Back in Melbourne, we were in no state to do anything else. Got the car parked, got dinner, found the bed and fell into it.
NOTE: Once the road begins, its miles and miles of smooth driving (Achtung! All you driving freaks) - with the ocean on one side and the hills on the other. The beauty is breathtaking. For the benefit of the sight-seeing tourists, there are small detours at regular intervals that give you unending opportunities to let your jaw drop. Just keep in mind to pick it up everytime that happens.
Monday, October 31, 2005
The Odyssey: Dum Dum to Down Under
Whoever first said that the earth is flat must have been Austraaylian, maite!
The reason for this sudden revelation is: On the the 30th day of October, 2005, I woke up on a plane and peered out of the window. I saw a brown, dirty green-turning-to-brownish expanse of land below me, looking like a badly patterned gift wrapper wrapped real tight on a package. Strange bit of land, this. Well, this is the North-Western to Central portion of Australia. We'll get back to it later.
Right now, lets start from the beginning.
2350 hours 29th Oct, 2005: I slink off without telling almost anyone about the move. I see the immigration official looking at me, and I feel like running away. They won't let me through! They'll throw me into prison! Dark images of me being tortured in a damp cell fill my mind. But that does not happen. The guy is bored and probably pissed of at having to sit at 12:00am in the night, and he lets me through really quickly. The images in my mind pass, and the heart decides to stop drumming really loudly in the vicinity of my throat. It gets back to its normal location. I get on the flight, and my heart tries its best to jump out through my throat once again - this time its the air-hostesses. (No, they didnt scare the crap out of me. Good looking ladies in good looking uniforms really rock, man!)
0100 hours 30th Oct, 2005: I can't get enough of the movies on the KrisWorld screen that they have! Pretty ladies serving food & drink at regular intervals, a screen with a TV, Audio and Games, a comfortable seat - all these add up to a near-perfect couch potato making machine. And I'm a prime candidate, as everybody who knows me would know...
0400 hours 30th Oct, 2005: I'm hogging up the movies. 'Batman begins', 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory', some cartoons with pigeons in it... my brain is shouting 'SLEEP! SLEEP!' my heart is shouting 'WATCH! WATCH!' Me, being the ever diplomatic type, fall asleep watching the movies.
0530 hours 30th Oct, 2005: I sense a flash of bright light. My bleary eyes slowly open and I notice that the headphones are hurting my ears. That problem is taken care of quick. Outside the window I see small twinkling lights afloat somewhere in the darkness. Singapore has arrived! Cities look great from the air at night, and Singapore is a good example of that. I can see ships in the dock, and mirror ships in the water below. Then I see the city like a giant roadmap whose highways have been highlighted with small lights. Looks a lot like Mumbai, or maybe Mumbai looks a lot like Singapore (whatever...)
0545 hours 30th Oct, 2005: Travelling through time zones is like time travel. It is 5:45 am in Singapore, but the flight has taken only 3 and a half hours - its still around 3.30 in India. The airport is huge. It is beautiful. Most of all, it is a shopping mall... And no hassles at all. This is great! I'm loving it!
0900 hours 30th Oct, 2005: After 3 and half hours of waiting and seeing the same shops again and again, the "I'm loving it!" feeling has worn off, and the "worn down" feeling has set in. I'm not the shopping kind anyway. My flight is still 55 minutes off.
1000 hours 30th Oct, 2005: I'm in the air again! Now seeing Singapore (and LOTS of other islands) in the daylight! Well, it was a good place, but 2 hours staring at the same shops, the same duty free signs, the same wine bottles, the same cigarette packets (strictly through the display - no cigarettes for me please) is injurious to mental and emotional well-being.
1500 hours 30th Oct, 2005: Have been seeing the same 'badly patterned gift wrapper' effect since the last couple of hours. No new movies on this filght. Same old ones. To make it worse, Willy Wonka has started talking in some strange language now that sounds like a series of short sighs and sharp shrieks (Chinese, is it?)
1845 hours 30th Oct, 2005: Feeling woozy and light-headed after waking up from a forced slumber. When I look out of the window I see something like a light purplish cotton covering a huge part of the land. It looks like a giant fungus has grown over all over this part of Australia! I stare again and realize I was looking at clouds. (Phew! For a few minutes I thought 'War of the Worlds' had begun in real life!). I also realize why the most UFO sightings have been by pilots flying their planes.
2015 hours 30th Oct, 2005: With a sigh of relief I set foot on terra firma again. For the first time on land that is not Indian. I look around expecting to break into 'One small step for man, a giant leap for Chintan', but nothing that grandiose really occurs to me (until now, when I'm writing). Deja vu! I walk out to the customs and get another of the O-my-God-They-will-put-me-into-jail bouts. But they let me through too... another sigh of relief. Outside it still looks like India... till I see the taxis. And the BMWs, and the Audis, and the BIKES! WOOOOOW! CBRs, Ninjas all let loose on the roads! This must be heaven...
The reason for this sudden revelation is: On the the 30th day of October, 2005, I woke up on a plane and peered out of the window. I saw a brown, dirty green-turning-to-brownish expanse of land below me, looking like a badly patterned gift wrapper wrapped real tight on a package. Strange bit of land, this. Well, this is the North-Western to Central portion of Australia. We'll get back to it later.
Right now, lets start from the beginning.
2350 hours 29th Oct, 2005: I slink off without telling almost anyone about the move. I see the immigration official looking at me, and I feel like running away. They won't let me through! They'll throw me into prison! Dark images of me being tortured in a damp cell fill my mind. But that does not happen. The guy is bored and probably pissed of at having to sit at 12:00am in the night, and he lets me through really quickly. The images in my mind pass, and the heart decides to stop drumming really loudly in the vicinity of my throat. It gets back to its normal location. I get on the flight, and my heart tries its best to jump out through my throat once again - this time its the air-hostesses. (No, they didnt scare the crap out of me. Good looking ladies in good looking uniforms really rock, man!)
0100 hours 30th Oct, 2005: I can't get enough of the movies on the KrisWorld screen that they have! Pretty ladies serving food & drink at regular intervals, a screen with a TV, Audio and Games, a comfortable seat - all these add up to a near-perfect couch potato making machine. And I'm a prime candidate, as everybody who knows me would know...
0400 hours 30th Oct, 2005: I'm hogging up the movies. 'Batman begins', 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory', some cartoons with pigeons in it... my brain is shouting 'SLEEP! SLEEP!' my heart is shouting 'WATCH! WATCH!' Me, being the ever diplomatic type, fall asleep watching the movies.
0530 hours 30th Oct, 2005: I sense a flash of bright light. My bleary eyes slowly open and I notice that the headphones are hurting my ears. That problem is taken care of quick. Outside the window I see small twinkling lights afloat somewhere in the darkness. Singapore has arrived! Cities look great from the air at night, and Singapore is a good example of that. I can see ships in the dock, and mirror ships in the water below. Then I see the city like a giant roadmap whose highways have been highlighted with small lights. Looks a lot like Mumbai, or maybe Mumbai looks a lot like Singapore (whatever...)
0545 hours 30th Oct, 2005: Travelling through time zones is like time travel. It is 5:45 am in Singapore, but the flight has taken only 3 and a half hours - its still around 3.30 in India. The airport is huge. It is beautiful. Most of all, it is a shopping mall... And no hassles at all. This is great! I'm loving it!
0900 hours 30th Oct, 2005: After 3 and half hours of waiting and seeing the same shops again and again, the "I'm loving it!" feeling has worn off, and the "worn down" feeling has set in. I'm not the shopping kind anyway. My flight is still 55 minutes off.
1000 hours 30th Oct, 2005: I'm in the air again! Now seeing Singapore (and LOTS of other islands) in the daylight! Well, it was a good place, but 2 hours staring at the same shops, the same duty free signs, the same wine bottles, the same cigarette packets (strictly through the display - no cigarettes for me please) is injurious to mental and emotional well-being.
1500 hours 30th Oct, 2005: Have been seeing the same 'badly patterned gift wrapper' effect since the last couple of hours. No new movies on this filght. Same old ones. To make it worse, Willy Wonka has started talking in some strange language now that sounds like a series of short sighs and sharp shrieks (Chinese, is it?)
1845 hours 30th Oct, 2005: Feeling woozy and light-headed after waking up from a forced slumber. When I look out of the window I see something like a light purplish cotton covering a huge part of the land. It looks like a giant fungus has grown over all over this part of Australia! I stare again and realize I was looking at clouds. (Phew! For a few minutes I thought 'War of the Worlds' had begun in real life!). I also realize why the most UFO sightings have been by pilots flying their planes.
2015 hours 30th Oct, 2005: With a sigh of relief I set foot on terra firma again. For the first time on land that is not Indian. I look around expecting to break into 'One small step for man, a giant leap for Chintan', but nothing that grandiose really occurs to me (until now, when I'm writing). Deja vu! I walk out to the customs and get another of the O-my-God-They-will-put-me-into-jail bouts. But they let me through too... another sigh of relief. Outside it still looks like India... till I see the taxis. And the BMWs, and the Audis, and the BIKES! WOOOOOW! CBRs, Ninjas all let loose on the roads! This must be heaven...
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Kahaani ghar ghar ki: Brahma vs. Savitri
Aaah... I can almost see the duo of Ramanand Sagar and Ekta Kapoor smacking their respective lips in anticipation. For there finally is a story worthy of the undivided attention of not one, but both of them. Ancient mythology meets Modern day kitsch, in this new script being played out in the (already overloaded?) courts of India.
The sequence of events (from reliable sources) -
- Brahma wants to perform a Yagna at some particular 'auspicious hour' [Hey, if the Gods don't decide their own timings then who does?]
- Anyway, he tells Savitri, who starts getting ready, and as Mr. Brahma keeps saying in his defence, never ends getting ready.
- Brahma gets peeved, goes out, gets married (Wow, THAT'S fast! Or THAT'S slow! Who's view-point are you watching from?)
- Now all this has been done in time for the Yagna, and the newly-weds are just settling down, when Savitri descends on the spot (didn't know even the Indian Gods were such melodrama lovers), finds her hubby dear's Yagna in the hands of another woman and breaks into the inevitable curse...
Result is that there is only one Brahma temple anywhere in the world and that is in Pushkar, Rajasthan. Any way, ye to hui baat sadiyon puraani... Cut to the present time. At a time when "all the magic in the world has ended and it is held hostage by men of reason" (Heh, borrowed from Stephen King) - Brahma is an idol at Pushkar (with his "Waah Brahma Saheb, Nayee biwi! Badhiya hai!" wife Gayatri) and Savitri is at peace at her own hilltop close by - Ratnagiri.
Enter the new actors - Pujaris of the temples Mahant Laharpuri (for Brahma) and Benugopal (for Savitri). Mahant Laharpuri files a case in court asking for part of the offerings in the Savitri temple, saying that (here's the laugh!) as the husband of Savitri he has right over his wife's belongings. Not to be outdone, Benugopal delivers an upper cut - since Brahma has abandoned Savitri, HE should be the one paying alimony! The court, playing a Dhritarashtra type role has said that there can be no exchange of alimony between idols... One wonders why the pujari duo were not fined heavily for wasting the Judiciary's time on such bombastic matters.
However, if the two of them do persist, the courts should pay them back with their own pill, and should throw them into the dungeons. Here's how -
- Since all Hindu deities are perpetually minors, they cannot be lawfully wedded. Both the priests should be incarcerated for abetting child marriages.
- Child marriages are one thing, but polygamous child marriages??! Put 'em behind bars!!!!!
- The grapevine has it that Indra played a big role in these crimes.
Name of the soap? How about "GGhar - Ekk Manndir"... Or maybe the next season of "Desperate Housewives"?
The sequence of events (from reliable sources) -
- Brahma wants to perform a Yagna at some particular 'auspicious hour' [Hey, if the Gods don't decide their own timings then who does?]
- Anyway, he tells Savitri, who starts getting ready, and as Mr. Brahma keeps saying in his defence, never ends getting ready.
- Brahma gets peeved, goes out, gets married (Wow, THAT'S fast! Or THAT'S slow! Who's view-point are you watching from?)
- Now all this has been done in time for the Yagna, and the newly-weds are just settling down, when Savitri descends on the spot (didn't know even the Indian Gods were such melodrama lovers), finds her hubby dear's Yagna in the hands of another woman and breaks into the inevitable curse...
Result is that there is only one Brahma temple anywhere in the world and that is in Pushkar, Rajasthan. Any way, ye to hui baat sadiyon puraani... Cut to the present time. At a time when "all the magic in the world has ended and it is held hostage by men of reason" (Heh, borrowed from Stephen King) - Brahma is an idol at Pushkar (with his "Waah Brahma Saheb, Nayee biwi! Badhiya hai!" wife Gayatri) and Savitri is at peace at her own hilltop close by - Ratnagiri.
Enter the new actors - Pujaris of the temples Mahant Laharpuri (for Brahma) and Benugopal (for Savitri). Mahant Laharpuri files a case in court asking for part of the offerings in the Savitri temple, saying that (here's the laugh!) as the husband of Savitri he has right over his wife's belongings. Not to be outdone, Benugopal delivers an upper cut - since Brahma has abandoned Savitri, HE should be the one paying alimony! The court, playing a Dhritarashtra type role has said that there can be no exchange of alimony between idols... One wonders why the pujari duo were not fined heavily for wasting the Judiciary's time on such bombastic matters.
However, if the two of them do persist, the courts should pay them back with their own pill, and should throw them into the dungeons. Here's how -
- Since all Hindu deities are perpetually minors, they cannot be lawfully wedded. Both the priests should be incarcerated for abetting child marriages.
- Child marriages are one thing, but polygamous child marriages??! Put 'em behind bars!!!!!
- The grapevine has it that Indra played a big role in these crimes.
Name of the soap? How about "GGhar - Ekk Manndir"... Or maybe the next season of "Desperate Housewives"?
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Indian Politics: The Boat Conundrum
Recently I got a forward that I had been getting recently quite some time back too (take your time with that line...). Here it is:
=============================================
GUESS THE ANSWER .... LET US SEE HOW SMART ARE YOU?
Soniya, Laaloo , Rabri , Jaya , Maya & Mamta were sailing in the same boat.
If the boat sinks who will survive? Guess?
=============================================
Now that people are so interested in finding out how intelligent I am, and I cant mail each one of them, I'm putting it here for all TD&Hs (and the female versions of the same) to see.
My answers:
#1. Me
#2. All will - none of them have enough gravity :P they'll all float...
#3. Don't think about trivial issues. The main issue is getting them all onto a boat and then sinking it (and them, if you consider the gravity factor).
#4. There is a good chance though, that if we were able to put them all on one boat, they would form a coalition and drown us first, then fight amongst themselves and drown the boat (don't know about them - there still is the unanswered question about the 'gravity factor'.)
#5. Did you notice that 83.34 % of that list are females? (According to today's newspaper, India's parliamentary composition has 8.3% femails, sorry, females. This implies that "%trouble caused = 10 x %females" Then plunge into heated debate... forget about original question... true parliamentary isshtyle...)
#6. The most common answer - OUR INDIA
Not difficult to think of some more... good time pass :D please add yours in the comments!
NOTE: No offence to any of the "TD&Hs (and the female versions of the same)" who have found honourable mention in the madness above.
=============================================
GUESS THE ANSWER .... LET US SEE HOW SMART ARE YOU?
Soniya, Laaloo , Rabri , Jaya , Maya & Mamta were sailing in the same boat.
If the boat sinks who will survive? Guess?
=============================================
Now that people are so interested in finding out how intelligent I am, and I cant mail each one of them, I'm putting it here for all TD&Hs (and the female versions of the same) to see.
My answers:
#1. Me
#2. All will - none of them have enough gravity :P they'll all float...
#3. Don't think about trivial issues. The main issue is getting them all onto a boat and then sinking it (and them, if you consider the gravity factor).
#4. There is a good chance though, that if we were able to put them all on one boat, they would form a coalition and drown us first, then fight amongst themselves and drown the boat (don't know about them - there still is the unanswered question about the 'gravity factor'.)
#5. Did you notice that 83.34 % of that list are females? (According to today's newspaper, India's parliamentary composition has 8.3% femails, sorry, females. This implies that "%trouble caused = 10 x %females" Then plunge into heated debate... forget about original question... true parliamentary isshtyle...)
#6. The most common answer - OUR INDIA
Not difficult to think of some more... good time pass :D please add yours in the comments!
NOTE: No offence to any of the "TD&Hs (and the female versions of the same)" who have found honourable mention in the madness above.
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